The Twain Shall Be One

The Twain Shall Be One

“As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; “That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me” (John 17:18–21).

This week as I read these scriptures, I pondered on all the writings of H. Wallace Goddard in his books, The Marriage Garden and Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage. In both books, the overall themes to me have been that when we improve the quality of our heart and spirit, our marriages improve. For me, this is clearly seen: as we draw closer to God we also draw closer to each other. 

I can still remember when I was 18 as a freshman in college and was taking an institute class. It was the only class that could fit into my packed schedule for that semester, and so I took a 7 am class. Many mornings I was beyond tired after waking before 5, to get ready and drive 45 minutes to the University, to then find parking. I can't say I remembered a whole lot about that class. 

But I vividly remember this diagram being drawn on the board on a day in late November. The lesson focused on how marriage would bring us closer to God. At the time, my parents were going through a messy divorce, and the idea that marriage could ever improve a person had seemed so improbable. My parents seemed so sad and angry. But as my institute instructor taught the scriptures above, and shared this visual, something clicked, and I knew that marriage was truly instituted by God. It has never left me, even when my own first marriage failed, and life seemed so grim. I knew that one day, perhaps in the next life, I would have the opportunity to enjoy the blessing of marriage and continue my own learning and progression. I'm glad I didn't have to wait until the next life, but the time I spent waiting definitely helped me appreciate the marriage I have now. 

In the talk "That We May Be One" by President Henry B. Eyring, of the first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, he talks about this very principle. He teaches that the Savior of the world spoke of unity and how we will have our natures changed to make it possible. I can't think of another word I would rather have my marriage associated with than unity. What a blessing when we as saints, and as marriage partners, can set the natural man aside, choose to be more Christlike, and come together as the body of Christ. In this same talk, President Eyring quotes President David O. McKay who taught that "There are some commandments which, when broken, destroy unity. Some have to do with what we say and some with how we react to what others say." When I read this line, again, it brought me back to Goddard's books, and made me think about how I have been responding to my husband this week. I pondered on the fact that when I respond in an impatient manner, or without the tenderness he deserves, I am spoiling the opportunity for our marriage to maintain unity. Unity is so much bigger than either of of us individually. Unity in marriage is what truly creates a family, and that sunk in on a deeper level as I read this talk. 

I am grateful for the wise words of so many women and men who came before me. I'm grateful to be able to learn from others, so that I can (hopefully) not make as many mistakes. Slowly, gradually, I am learning.