Consecrating My Marriage

Most of us in a marriage relationship have never been called on to save our partner's life. I know I've never been asked to make that kind of sacrifice. No, the sacrifices I am called to are much smaller. For example, being patient when my husband misses the hamper by two feet, or being five minutes late before leaving for an appointment because he is just now starting to get ready. Yes, these so called "offenses" are incredibly minor, especially when compared to all the profound ways my husband blesses my life. It is embarrassing that I even bat an eyelash at a pair of socks on the floor. But as is said in the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19, "For the natural (wo)man is an enemy to God." So is, the natural woman an enemy to marriage. Judgments and harsh criticism are hardly as benign as clothing lying two feet from the hamper. Yet, I have found myself, on particularly rough days, using such matters as excuse for muttering those criticisms. Thankfully, I am learning, and my husband can be patient, though progress, not perfection is the name of my game.

I have been in a marriage that failed. I know that kind of deep regret well, and the remembrance of that keeps me trying. For many who have been, or are at a critical juncture, where hearts are seemingly hurt beyond repair, the principle of consecration can bring healing. As Dr. H. Wallace Goddard shares in his book, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, "...consecration invites us to put everything we have on the alter- to hold nothing back. We are willing to minister to a mixed up spouse. We are willing to love a failing partner. We bless those who belittle us. We pray for those who have despitefully used us." 

Elder Neil A. Maxwell talked about the irony in consecration when he said, "Consecration is the only surrender which is also a victory. It brings release from the raucous, overpopulated cell block of selfishness and emancipation from the dark prison of pride.

When I read this passage, it made me want to immediately consecrate my marriage. I wanted to give up all the ways I am holding onto pride, and surrender it to the Lord. I want this sweet release, Elder Maxwell speaks of. It is funny how the human mind works to protect itself. Immediately following these desires, thoughts came to how justifiedI I might be about the socks. After all, I have repeatedly asked very kindly, for the socks to be thrown two feet to the left. And, for the "out the door routine" to please take place 5 minutes sooner. It is second nature to slide right into those excuses of justification. "It's such a small thing to be rightfully upset, it can't possibly be a real problem." 

Overall, my husband and I are doing well, which makes it all the more interesting that even a pretty healthy marriage has these weaknesses. We all are selfish on a foundational level, and the entire point of marriage, is to teach us to put someone else's comfort, above our own. Period. 

"Consecration is a covenant that moves us from asking how we can get our needs met to asking how we can bless and serve."- H. Wallace Goddard. 

And I think that statement about sums it up for me tonight. I really just want to think of me less.

Goddard, H. W. (2009) Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage: Eternal Doctrines that Change Relationships. Joymap Publishing. Cedar Hills, UT.